Monkey answers the most recent round of questions received on Ask Monkey. If you have your own question that you’d like to seek answers on, pop over to this page where you can request answers to your queries from all subjects from dragonfly lie expectancy to glass blowing.

A Model Monkey
Patience Ann asks:

This one is actually from me, not Mister G this time. So, Monkey, have you ever done any modeling? Because the monkey on Tufty Mitten’s bed in Petville looks awfully familiar:

Monkey answers:
Well, that’s just strange! I mean, it’s definitely me, but I have never posed for a live portrait – it must have been done from one of my modelling shots. The artist has my wonky-foot down perfectly! Thankyou for sending me the link to this picture – it has made my day (though I am a bit scared of that chainsaw!)

Monkey on the Move
Craig asks:

Dear Monkey, What is your favourite way of getting about? Do you have a Monkey Mobile our do you use public transport? Love, Craigy Ranger.

Monkey answers:
I tend to use the MTS (Monkey Tube System), constructed for high-speed monkey transportation. It’s a bit like a cross between the London underground and one of hose vacuum-tubes they used for moving bundles of money around in supermarkets, but it is a bit more luxurious than either.

Here is one of the terminals of the MTS.

This happens to be the stop in Morecambe, but they are all basically the same. As you can see, you are whisked along on a feather bed with mood lighting, though your enjoyment is only fleeting as the journey is all but instantaneous. I don’t know why you humans don’t get together and construct a similar system for yourselves… you do insist on your slow and polluting methods – you seem to enjoy the stress.

The MTS doesn’t yet extend to all destinations, but covers all of the major places of interest: Morecambe, Neasden and the like, but the system is always expanding, and soon we hope to have the network expand to such locations as Frumpton on Sea and Abergavenny.