Draw your chair up and hand me my violin.

Prince William and Kate have been looking for some new art of distinguished guests and friends to hang in their new castle, so I have been recently obliged to sit for a portrait. I do find it a little tedious to sit in such an attitude for so long a period of time, but it is all for a good cause as I would not dream of denying the future king my likeness upon his wall. I hope they hang it up next to Rolf Harris’s portrait of William’s nan.