Hewwo. I am Giantmonk.  I am the biggest monkey on world of monkey.  As Monkey is in Neasden on a diplomatic mission, I thought I should make my own video to introduce myself.

Monkey’s small chum Munkeh is always hungry. Availability of food and the scale of happiness of this little monkey chum are closely correlated.

Who’d have thought that a quiz show about cardboard boxes with numbers sellotaped to their lids could ever be a hit?  Yet somehow, the bearded one made it so.  Does Noel Edmonds have the golden touch when it comes to conceiving new prime-time quiz material?  Feel Good Television put the great face-fuzzed one on the case and asked him to think, and think hard.

And what sprung forth from this incomparable mind as sure-fire gameshow hit?  Beat The Monkey (working title, I hope) in which the master of ceremonies is… a monkey.

So, my agent is just getting my CV together, and I’ve had a few new studio portraits done, and hopefully I’ll have a meeting with Noel before too long…

Story from The Guardian.  (Oh, yes – you didn’t think I was making this up, did you?)

Monkey answers the most recent round of questions received on Ask Monkey. If you have your own question that you’d like to seek answers on, pop over to this page where you can request answers to your queries from all subjects from dragonfly lie expectancy to glass blowing.

A Model Monkey
Patience Ann asks:

This one is actually from me, not Mister G this time. So, Monkey, have you ever done any modeling? Because the monkey on Tufty Mitten’s bed in Petville looks awfully familiar:

Monkey answers:
Well, that’s just strange! I mean, it’s definitely me, but I have never posed for a live portrait – it must have been done from one of my modelling shots. The artist has my wonky-foot down perfectly! Thankyou for sending me the link to this picture – it has made my day (though I am a bit scared of that chainsaw!)

Monkey on the Move
Craig asks:

Dear Monkey, What is your favourite way of getting about? Do you have a Monkey Mobile our do you use public transport? Love, Craigy Ranger.

Monkey answers:
I tend to use the MTS (Monkey Tube System), constructed for high-speed monkey transportation. It’s a bit like a cross between the London underground and one of hose vacuum-tubes they used for moving bundles of money around in supermarkets, but it is a bit more luxurious than either.

Here is one of the terminals of the MTS.

This happens to be the stop in Morecambe, but they are all basically the same. As you can see, you are whisked along on a feather bed with mood lighting, though your enjoyment is only fleeting as the journey is all but instantaneous. I don’t know why you humans don’t get together and construct a similar system for yourselves… you do insist on your slow and polluting methods – you seem to enjoy the stress.

The MTS doesn’t yet extend to all destinations, but covers all of the major places of interest: Morecambe, Neasden and the like, but the system is always expanding, and soon we hope to have the network expand to such locations as Frumpton on Sea and Abergavenny.

Hello there, friends of monkeys everywhere.

World of Monkey is six years old now, and the internet has changed a lot since the first time I fired up the old steam-powered monkey laptop and started this website, and to be honest things have moved on since the days when my new learn-as-you-go approach to basic HTML could make this site look OK.  Well, OK-ish.  So, welcome to the brand new, completely refurbished, World of Monkey.

As you can see, there are a few tweaks that need to be made, but hopefully the new interface will mean that I can update the site much more frequently now, because I have to admit that I have been neglecting it for a while, as it became so difficult to navigate and organise, and so now there will be much more opportunity for all friends of Monkey to comment and join in.

Ask Monkey, Friends of Monkey and all of the other interactive Monkey fun will be back as me and my Monkey chums fill the site with new content.  In the meantime, why not add us to your bookmarks, or grab the snazzy RSS feed to keep up to date with what is happening in the World of Monkey.